GE is Beneath Your Christmas Tree

As promised in last week's blog, I'm introducing you to the GE Christmas Guys.  As you can see, they're a bit rummy, having been at the eggnog on a cold wintry day.  But they're eager to share their joy of GE products as they give you the low-down on the high points of these marvelous gifts available to the good people of 1962.  So here's what the GE Christmas Guys were pushing on the readers of Life Magazine on December 14th, 1962.

Every great gal in your life needs a bag over her head.  And here's one attached to an electric fan and a heating element.  This pink bouffant bonnet comes in a handsome travel case, which your wife might need if you give this to her for Christmas.  It'll be easy to include as she packs up to leave you.

Let's assume that the GE Christmas Guy in this picture is just napping, and that he wasn't electrocuted by the "Waverly" automatic blanket.  I've never been a fan of this idea.  Wrapping yourself with energized copper wire is grabbing hold of the atomic age a bit too literally.  Sure, it was the Sixties, and everything was going electric.  But let's try to keep the flow of electricity out of the sheets, huh?  There are better ways to keep warm in bed without resorting to regulated voltage.

Does anyone iron out there anymore?  I don't know.  I remember my mother ironing, and ironing, and ironing.  Seemed like our clothes didn't look much different than they do now, and my wife doesn't iron much.  Pretty sure that in the old days our clothes were made out of something akin to saran wrap.  I mean, just consider how badly they always wrinkled.  Come to think of it, many of the clothes back then were closely related to plastic wrap.  They were actually plastic.  All that polyester and rayon.  Even the cotton clothes wrinkled constantly.  But at least with this gift from GE, as they suggest, you can open your gift and iron out the wrinkles on your Christmas party dress.  That's supposed to sound wonderful, but it mostly sounds like a sad Christmas moment.  Let's move on.

 Nothing says "special Christmas" like an automatic can opener.  Especially one that is designed to opened cans with blank, blue labels.  Mystery meat, I'd guess.  Love the copy here--"Opens that can of cranberry sauce electrically."  And don't miss the fact that this puppy has a governor-controlled motor.  And the special bonus here is the pre-safety-conscious-society decision to manufacture this without a guard on the cutting device.  As a child, I always imagined what it would be like to catch your finger in that metal-chewing mechanism.  That I still have all ten fingers is a testament to sheer luck.

"Hey mom, here's your gift!  Open it first so you can bake us all a Christmas cake!"  Kids are so cute.  So are husbands who buy portable mixers for their wives and tell her it's from the kids.  Now she's no fool.  In 1962, mom knows perfectly well that dad put the kids up to this so she can mix drinks for him with the free drink mixer attachment.  I'd suggest he not toss in that optional accessory for sharpening knives.  

"From December 26th," this ad reads, "housecleaning will never be easier!"  Yeah, but your wife may never be easy to get along with ever again.  I doubt most wives would even be impressed that this vacuum has a double-action tool.  I might be, if I knew what that meant.  But I'm not gonna ask the GE Christmas Guy hanging from the hose.  Let's see what's left under the tree.

Coffee?  Now we're talking.  I think GE might have a winner here.  Since Keurig machines won't be invented for another forty-plus years, a Peek-A-Brew Coffee Maker is not a bad idea.  Not only will it count the cups, but it will keep the coffee hot.  Now we just have to wait until flavored coffees are offered in the coffee aisle at the local shopping center.  Toffee Pumpkin Skinny Lattes won't be available for quite a while yet!  You'll have to stick with plain cream and sugar.

Thanks to the GE Christmas Guys for their wonderful gift ideas.  For all you newly married young men out there, don't listen to these guys.  Cleaning and cooking supplies aren't your best bet for a young wife's Christmas gift.  Maybe on occasion, if she specifically asks for something.  But I'd avoid buying her anything like knife sharpeners and bags for her head.  I think we can all agree that's just a little common sense.

Here's the full ad that ran in Life Magazine.

For more Christmas ideas from the past, check out last year's posts on Burstein-Applebee.

Burstein-Applebee Part One

Burstein-Applebee Part Two

Life's Television War of September, 1957

Life Magazine, September 30, 1957

The Golden Age of Television was in full bloom.  Already, viewers across the United States had been tuning in for several years to watch a bevy of what we now know as classic television shows: Captain Kangaroo, The Mickey Mouse Club, The Lawrence Welk Show, and everybody's favorite western, Gunsmoke.  All of these premiered in 1955.  Just a year later, such shows as As the World Turns, The Edge of Night, and The Price is Right joined in on the fun.

By the beginning of the 1957 season, viewers had every reason to pull up a TV tray laden with goodies every night of the week.  ABC premiered a promising new western on Sunday nights at 7:30 called Maverick.  Monday nights were a chance to catch the mix of dry and zany humor offered up by The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show on CBS.  CBS was also the channel to tune in on Tuesday night if you were a fan of The Red Skelton Show.  The whole family could spend an entire Wednesday night catching the new Leave it to Beaver (CBS at 8:00), Father Knows Best (switch over to NBC at 8:30) and finish up the night with The Ozzie and Harriet Show (switching yet again to ABC at 9:30).  Thursdays and Fridays offered up Dragnet and Dick Powell's Zane Grey Theater.  Saturday was the night you just couldn't miss.  CBS dominated that evening with its brand new courtroom drama Perry Mason, followed by Have Gun-Will Travel (the number four show that year) and Gunsmoke (the number one show.)

The Number One Show of 1957

When Life magazine hit the shelves on September 30th of that year, a little war was waged inside its pages; a war for television viewers and their money.  While television had been around since about 1939, sales of television sets had jumped remarkably in the Fifties.  The total number of sets sold before the Fifties was just over 3.6 million.  Beginning in 1950 the yearly number of sets sold in the decade averaged 6.3 million.  That number had peaked at 7.4 million in 1955 and the manufacturers saw a decline in '56 and '57.

At this time it was estimated that 41 million homes had televisions.  Sales were bound to slow down.  Just getting a television--any television--was no longer the goal for most consumers.  Shrewd buyers wanted value and options.  This led to fierce competition among TV manufacturers.  And this was easy to recognize while browsing the pages of Life in September of 1957.

We start with Admiral:

Though some shows were already broadcasting in color (The Red Skelton Show at that time was sporadically filmed in color) the market wasn't geared toward such a radical upgrade.  Of the six plus million sets sold in 1957, RCA, the leader in sales, only sold 85,000 color sets.  The real upgrades, meant to grab the attention of those homes looking to buy a second set, were geared towards convenience.  Admiral proudly showed off their Son-r dual remote control, which controlled both the television and their high-fidelity phonograph.  The higher end model also allowed you to control an AM/FM radio.  According to this ad, the remote allowed the chair-bound viewer/listener to perform 11 services, which included powering the three devices on and off, volume adjustment, and channel adjustment.  I haven't done the math but there are eleven services in there somewhere.  Oh yes, don't forget, this remote also rejects phonograph records!  That sounds a bit rude, if you ask me.

I really want to know how Admiral came up with a remote that had no wires and no batteries.  Was it, perhaps, like those survivalist wind-up radios?  Did you turn the crank like Radar O'Reilly trying to energize the phone on M*A*S*H?

  General Electric took a shot at winning the readers with their boast of a slim silhouette and an electronic tuner.  Here you get some space-saving convenience coupled with a time-saver.  A nice combination.  Once you pre-tune each channel on the day you buy your set you'll never have to tune again.  (Hmmm, that seems a bit hard to swallow.)  Not only can you quickly change the channel from Leave it to Beaver to Father Knows Best, you'll also get these cool neon-like glowing coils of smoke pulsing out from the dial.  A great incentive in the rocket age!

Philco waded in to the battle with this mobile device.  No, not a mobile phone.  But in 1957, this was the equivalent of a mobile TV.  As their PR department says here: "Go ahead--put a Philco Slender Seventeener on your coffee table, room divider, anywhere in any room.  This new Philco is fashion-styled to look stunning from every angle.  It's the most compact, powerful, big screen table TV ever!  And so easy to carry, it's like having a TV in every room!"

Well, it's like having a TV you can carry around to every room, but I get what they mean.  And let's not forget it includes the exclusively developed Philco Germanitron, which is a long-life transformer.  I will turn on the applause sign for their new colors peacock blue and charcoal, which were in addition to the usual mahogany and blond wood finishes.  The price is certainly right: $159.95.  A big RCA 21" color model was $495.  Considering that the average income in 1957 was $5,500 and the minimum wage was one dollar, this price might just be worth it.  And hey, even the back is beautiful!  Just what you'd expect from a slender seventeener.

(I'm proud of this one.  It took four scans and a lot of work to get this full spread so pristine.)

Motorola steps up the war with this volley of glamour and technology.  Forget about GE's auto-tuner.  You can tune this TV perfectly from your easy chair across the room.  And the remote has the added benefit of looking like a fine packet of cigarettes.  In addition, the Golden Satellite has an electronic discovery that ends "warm-up shock" (which costs TV owners $10 million yearly.)  This "Tube Sentry" eliminates 3 out of 4 service calles, brings on picture and sound simultaneously, and triples (!) the life expectancy of every tube and other parts of your set.  (They should have reworded that.  It sounds funny: every tube and other parts of your set.  What does that mean, exactly?)

In the fine print we are assured that not only will the remote control your TV, but you can control it at the set, too.  We should also note that the two hi-fi speakers are tilted up towards ear level, unless you're lying on the floor watching Captain Kangaroo with a bowl of Cheerios in front of you.  The tinted safety screen is tilted down to eliminate glare, which is also useless if you're on the floor.  And don't forget: the UHF is an optional extra, and specifications are subject to change without notice.  But that's just the small print.  And with that gorgeous blonde alongside the lean, lithe look of the television's rich-grained, satin-finished hardwoods, who will notice the small print?  The dame in the dress helps to distract as well.

I'm not sure what is with the cowboy marionettes shown in the inset with the remote control.  I do know that five of the top ten shows that year were westerns (also known as "oaters".)  So this was a way to incorporate westerns, televisions, dames, dogs, and satellites all in one advertisement.  A massive carpet-bombing aimed at wiping out the competition.  However, I've never heard of the Motorola Golden Satellite.  Perhaps, despite their winning the TV war in this issue of Life with this over-the-top, grandiose, superb advertisement, they lost the larger war for the hearts and wallets of the television-hungry buyers of 1957.

Which one would you have chosen?

Electronics and Rockets: February, 1961

Electronics Illustrated, February, 1961

I'm not a big electronics expert.  I can plug things in.  When they quit working, I can throw them away.  In between, I know how to turn most electronic things on and off.  I may even know how to set the digital clocks on them.  But that is about it.  So I was never one to read magazines like Electronics Illustrated.  But I did (and still do) like to look through them for the many cool pictures they had.  And here is a great example of why.  After all, if you didn't know, I'm the editor of Rocket Fire Books, and I love anything to do with rockets.

No, that's not George C. Scott dressed up like General Patton on the cover.  It's a real military officer pointing to America's Courier satellite.  And as it says, this satellite is "the communications brain that receives, remembers and rebroadcasts 75,000 words per minute!"

Sadly, you can see that the public in 1961 has missed the significance of this achievement as a new communications link.  After all, it is a telephonic-telegraphic-facsimile repeating station.  Considering it carries messages across the world through the sky at nearly 15,000 miles an hour, I can't see how all those people missed this achievement.  Perhaps instead of recognizing the impact of this telephonic-telegraphic-facsimile repeating station, they were spending too much time watching Gunsmoke and Wagon Train, the two top shows on TV at the time.  (What shocks me is discovering that Have Gun Will Travel, a show I've never enjoyed, eclipsed The Andy Griffith Show for third place.  I wish someone would explain that one to me.)  So at a time when we were launching this super-sophisticated telecommunications satellite into space, most of the people at home were watching western TV shows.  In fact, there wasn't one science fiction show in the top twenty-five shows that year.

Here we see the Pioneer VI sitting atop an Atlas-Able 3-stage rocket.  The plan here was to launch this one to the moon--well, at least into lunar orbit, where "it will stay there theoretically forever."  Or at least as long as Gunsmoke remained on the air, which it seemed to do metaphorically forever.  

Now here, you can see what the Pioneer VI will look like.  I notice that the author of this piece says the satellite will orbit the moon practically forever, which seems quite different from theoretically.  I wish they'd get their hyperbole straight.  Of a more interesting note, you can see where he takes a shot at the Russians, claiming that the only pictures we have of the dark side of the moon are just "a few blurry pictures of the far side of the Moon as Russia's Lunik I made its single pass."  We have here a double shot at the Russians.  Not only is this an attempt to point out the poor quality of the the Russians' photography skills, but it also points out how they only made one little trip around the moon.  And remember, the Pioneer VI will be orbiting the Grand Luna for all eternity (practically and theoretically speaking.)

In all fairness, Pioneer VI has been fairly successful.  Though NASA does not regularly check on the telemetry of this satellite, it did make contact with it on December 8, 2000, to celebrate 35 years of continual operation.  It is uncertain what Pioneer VI had to say on such an occasion or whether it felt proud of its achievements.  Oddly enough, according to Wikipedia, JPL says the Pioneer VI design life expectancy was only six months.  Which is no where near forever, whether you are speaking practically or theoretically, or even if you are talking impractically.  The only time six months is akin to forever is when you are a kid, and summer is still six months away.  Then yes, six months is practically forever.

Now, in case all of this electronics talk has left you with a desire to be a radio and TV repairman, here's a great little offer from Christy Trades School.  Get your free illustrated book that shows you how to learn every phase of electrical appliance repair.  It doesn't teach you electrical appliance repair, but it teaches you how to learn.  In no time you'll be fixing your own appliances, and your neighbor's appliances, all for the amazing figure of $5.00 to $6.00 an hour.  And, you'll learn so much, your head will be the shape of a beachball, you'll have no hair, and your eyes will give a clear indication that you've been sticking your finger into one too many light sockets.  Don't wait!  Write today!

After-Christmas Shopping with Burstein-Applebee in 1968

Okay, I know what you're thinking.  Christmas is over.  Way over.  Like there isn't even any Christmas turkey left in the house.  The last of the turkey-jello was fed to the cat at least four or five days ago.  What's left of the Christmas fudge was accidentally packed away with the ornaments, which, incidentally, isn't a bad thing.  After all, it helps to have the fudge inaccessible as we try to meet those New Year's resolutions that have more to do with fantasy than reality.  So...why am I posting this about Christmas shopping?

Well, let's look at the facts.  You, along with everyone else, were given gift cards galore.  So many that you were able to stuff your wallet with them.  And now, stacked inside that worn, supple leather, they'll sit for months, forgotten behind the expired library card and the unused Putt-Putt Golf frequent duffer card.  But here's your chance to be really wise about your forgotten gift cards.  Check this out.

First things first: get those cards out and look them over.  Which ones do you want to really use?  If you're a book lover like yours truly, you'll definitely want to set the Barnes & Noble card to one side.  That one will get used.  In fact, I doubt it made it into the wallet.  It was probably used up before Christmas was officially over at midnight.  Online shopping is such instant gratification, isn't it?  But look through your cards and grab the ones that weren't quite...you.  Yeah, you know the ones, given by a distant relative who really had no idea what you do with your life.  Maybe you aren't so keen on Omaha Steaks since you're a vegetarian.  Or you'll never buy a hat from Lids, since you have a perfect head of hair that should never, ever, be covered by a wide-brimmed ball cap with primary colors that came straight off of Blues' Clues.  Heck, maybe you just refuse to use that Amazon gift card because you once bravely announced publicly that you'd never do business with those cut-throats at Amazon because...well, you can't remember why you said it and sort of regret it but you know your friends and family are now watching you to see what you'll do with that Amazon gift card and wondering if you'll stick to your principles or if you'll just go ahead and order the entire set of Star Trek: The Next Generation on Blue-ray.  Anyway...take these cards and sell them to friends at work.  Sure, you'll have to come down a bit on their value, but that's okay.  At least you'll spend money on your own terms, without being forced to buy something from some store you don't like.

Now, here's the genius of my plan.  With all that money you've managed to salvage from the gift cards, you are now free to pick up one of these great specials at Burstein-Applebee.  Just check out these deals:

 Have you ever seen such a versatile tape recorder?  Of course you haven't.  And that's because right there in the Burstein-Applebee catalog, you'll find the most versatile tape recorder yet!  Well, it's the most versatile yet in 1968.  There may be one that is more versatile now, in 2014, but I challenge anyone to tell me they can find one that is more versatile and lower priced at $119.50.  Go ahead, just try and beat this deal.  I mean, seriously, this baby has versatility coming out its reels.  Just consider:
     The 2 track monaural allows for 12 hours of recording time.  Twelve hours!  That's like half a day.  In fact, that is half a day.  Golly.
     This wild ride has three speeds: 7 1/2, 3 3/4, and 1 7/8.  Who could ask for anything better than that?  Who would want to even think of fractions beyond these?  You'd have to be a math teacher to even try and slow that speed down to a number even remotely divisible by 1 7/8.
     That slim attache case is designed at only 3 5/8" thick.  I don't know about you, but I think 3 5/8" is truly the definition of slim.  You couldn't get slimmer than that unless you developed digital technology and created an MP3 player that was only 5/8" thick.  And trust me, in 1968, you wouldn't have been smart enough to develop digital technology.  Fact is, you aren't smart enough to develop it in 2014.
     And let's not overlook the fact that this baby has volume and tone controls that are recessed.  Do I even need to point out how cool that is?  I didn't think so.

Now here's a deal you can't ignore.  Okay, okay, you've seen portable TVs before.  But have you seen one with 82 channels?  You can use this sweetheart anywhere, which is important, since you'd never get to use all 82 channels in 1968.  So you just port this puppy over to 2014 and then you'll be able to appreciate the full range of television programming that can be packed into this beautiful, solid state, deluxe, television and its full 37 square inch viewing area.

For just under one hundred dollars, you'll get a super bright picture for the whole family to see.  Even in broad daylight!  I know, that's crazy, right?  But there's more:  its transistor circuitry has 44 solid-state devices.  It even has a modern, clean look when the set is turned off.  That's right.  It doesn't have that outdated, dirty look when it's off.  And why would it?  This amazing set is produced by the world-famous Matsushito guys.  And they've always been about modern, clean looking televisions that are turned off.  Now just don't forget to order your four-pound battery pack for $29.95.  That's less than eight dollars per battery pound.  When's the last time you saw a steal like that?

Now, don't forget all of the B-A personal mail order service you'll get when you order one of these fine after-Christmas products:
     For starters, you'll have this handy B-A order blank...whenever possible.  Sometimes, it just isn't possible for the order blank to be handy.  We realize that there are limitations to when an order blank can be handy.
     You tell B-A how you want the shipment made.  Express?  Freight?  Regular Parcel Post?  Decaf Parcel Post?  Or how about Air?  That's right, they can float your order to you on the clouds.  And you get to decide when you send the money too.  Use a money order, or a bank draft (whatever that is!) or even...heck, let me quote them.  You'll think I'm making this up, but I'm not.  "Many B-A Customers ask us to fill in the exact amount on their signed blank check...a most convenient and safe way to send remittance."  Uhhh...okay.  Oh yeah, and don't forget that the Federal Reserve Bank Ruling states you cannot send in a check where the bank name has been deleted.  That Federal Reserve is sharp, I tell ya.  Nothing gets past them.  Not even checks without bank names on them.  Someone's thinking down in D.C.
     But before you go and get too excited about these amazing shipping options, let me bring you back to reality a bit.  There is an important little rule to keep in mind.  There is a minimum order size.  I know, right?  Disappointing.  But I have to admit they make a good point.  They state, and again, I quote:
"Since it is not economical to process many small orders, a 50c service charge is necessary for any order under $5.00.  You avoid this charge entirely on orders over $5.00."  Well, they got you there.  You'll have to spend at least five dollars.  Okay, so the B-A shopping experience isn't all fun and games.  As mothers have said since the beginning of time: life is full of disappointments.

And speaking of disappointments, don't even get me started on the $35.00 minimum order for opening a new B-A Revolving Charge Account.

Christmas Shopping with Burstein-Applebee in 1968

I've been too busy for Christmas shopping this year.  I'm in the middle of a project that includes cleaning out an old house and prepping it for a major remodel.  So it was quite fortuitous that I came across this handy Christmas edition of a Burstein-Applebee electronics catalog.  All of my shopping needs can be easily met right here in this fantastic collection of high-tech wizardry.  As you can see on the cover, there are many stores to choose from if I want to shop in person, and I can even send orders to the main office and expect fast personal service.  That's right...personal service through the mail.  I don't know how they do it.

Right off the bat I can see that one of the Christmas Specials is a steal.  A Solid State Telephone Amplifier; just $14.95!  This baby allows a room full of people to listen and talk on the same telephone.  Not only that, but it's battery powered and requires no installation.  And with that amazing on-off switch, you, well let me quote them here.  I want to make sure the copy-writer gets all the credit for this poetic line.  "Simple flip switch when in use, turn off when call is completed."  Yep, it really is that simple.  What will they think of next?

This is what they thought of next.  A "really portable tiny solid state TV."  This should be perfect for a friend of mine who is really tiny and portable.  This sweet 16 inch (that's 16 square inches, mind you) television gives you striking beauty with its 90 degree aluminized picture tube has true picture detail.  And that dark-tint screen "assures pleasing contrast indoors or out, and when set is off it blends in with modernistic design."  I had to put that last bit in quotes so you wouldn't think I was making that up.  Oh man, I'm thinking of putting this on my own wish list.  Imagine settling in to watch Star Trek on this baby.  It almost looks like Mr. Spock's science station.




I'll be back with more great items from this wonderful catalog.  Stay tuned!