Oldsmobile's Rocket of the Past

Oldsmobile Rocket 88 Advertisement: Life Magazine, January 19, 1953

Although NASA was still five years away from the public's collective conscience, rockets were already streaking across the cultural stratosphere in 1953.  Buck Rogers and his 25th Century exploits had been around for twenty-five years.  More than fifty years had already come and gone since Georges Méliès had taken that first Trip to the Moon.  And the grim, technological warfare that engulfed the world ten years before had been filled with the shriek of the German Army's nebelwerfer, the flash of the American Bazooka rocket launcher, and the terror inducing scream of the V-1 rocket and its supersonic cousin the V-2.  So it is not surprising that rockets, which have been around far longer than you might imagine, carried a great portion of Oldsmobile's advertising payload in the 1950's.

How long have rockets been around?
Just ask Alexander the Great,
as depicted by Conrad Kyser in
his "Bellifortis".  (circa 1405 AD)

Oldsmobile introduced the Rocket V8, the first mass-produced overhead valve V8 engine, in 1949.  (Plans were made to call it "Kettering Power", in honor of the project's chief engineer Charles Kettering, but the plans never made it off the launchpad, so to speak.)  The Rocket V8 would continue to be produced in some form until 1990.

But we're rocketing too far into the future.  Let's get back to to 1953.

If you were thinking of buying a new car that year, Oldsmobile wanted to get your attention.  And what better way to do it than a three-page spread in a January printing of Life Magazine?  Christmas has come and gone.  The kids are back in school.  It's cold outside and you're stuck indoors with the latest magazine, one of the few windows on the world at large available to you.  You turn the page, and there it is, streaking across the page: a golden rocket on a black and white background.  How could it fail to grab you by your imagination?

Can you believe it?  The Rocket you've been hearing your pals talk about, that wonder of the driving world, the Rocket V8, now has higher-power, higher compression and higher-voltage?  A full-on 165 horsepower?  (And that jerk co-worker was bragging about his '49 Rocket with a measly 135 HP!)  Maybe driving dad's '42 Ford Rattletrap for the last few years was worth it.  After all, the war's been over for eight years now, and money's not as tight as it was...and that is a really cool, sleek rocket...

You want a rocket.  Guys want rockets.  We all want a rocket!

And why wouldn't you?  Look what it says: the new "Ruling Power of the Road"...latest and greatest version of the most famous engine in automobile history.  Hey, it also says "see next page".

So turn the page already!

Oh yeah, you gotta buy this car.  And look what it says: it's the car you've been waiting for...most beautiful, most powerful ever built!  And it has the new Pedal-Ease Power Brakes (for quicker, surer stopping power!).  New Power-Ride Chassis?  New Power Styling?  That is crazy, as the kids are saying nowadays.

And boy does that hood look better than dad's Ford?  No contest.

Now, if only the wife won't complain too much when you use all your savings to get this baby.  But I'm sure she'd be happy if you bought one.  Just look at how happy that couple is:

The only real question is which model to buy?  The featured model in the ad is a "88 Holiday Coupe".  If its $2,673 price is a little high, you could grab the base model, which was re-christened for '53 as the "DeLuxe 88" for only $2,262.  But why settle for the base model when you could spend just a bit more, $2,395 for the "Super 88"?    Doesn't that sound...super?  Hey, just a wee bit more, $2,853, gets you in that convertible coupe.  Of course, there's always the step-up to the classic 98 series...but that's gonna cost you closer to three thousand dollars.

What the ad doesn't tell you is what Oldsmobile couldn't know at this time.  Due to a fire at GM's Livonia, Michigan Hydra-Matic transmission plant later in the year, thousands of the '53 Oldsmobile 88s would be built with the Buick two-speed Dyna-Flow transmissions.  Which one was a better transmission?  I'll let you readers debate that below.

All I know is I want a rocket.  A Rocket 88.  Don't you?

(Sales prices and production numbers found at HowStuffWorks.)

GE is Beneath Your Christmas Tree

As promised in last week's blog, I'm introducing you to the GE Christmas Guys.  As you can see, they're a bit rummy, having been at the eggnog on a cold wintry day.  But they're eager to share their joy of GE products as they give you the low-down on the high points of these marvelous gifts available to the good people of 1962.  So here's what the GE Christmas Guys were pushing on the readers of Life Magazine on December 14th, 1962.

Every great gal in your life needs a bag over her head.  And here's one attached to an electric fan and a heating element.  This pink bouffant bonnet comes in a handsome travel case, which your wife might need if you give this to her for Christmas.  It'll be easy to include as she packs up to leave you.

Let's assume that the GE Christmas Guy in this picture is just napping, and that he wasn't electrocuted by the "Waverly" automatic blanket.  I've never been a fan of this idea.  Wrapping yourself with energized copper wire is grabbing hold of the atomic age a bit too literally.  Sure, it was the Sixties, and everything was going electric.  But let's try to keep the flow of electricity out of the sheets, huh?  There are better ways to keep warm in bed without resorting to regulated voltage.

Does anyone iron out there anymore?  I don't know.  I remember my mother ironing, and ironing, and ironing.  Seemed like our clothes didn't look much different than they do now, and my wife doesn't iron much.  Pretty sure that in the old days our clothes were made out of something akin to saran wrap.  I mean, just consider how badly they always wrinkled.  Come to think of it, many of the clothes back then were closely related to plastic wrap.  They were actually plastic.  All that polyester and rayon.  Even the cotton clothes wrinkled constantly.  But at least with this gift from GE, as they suggest, you can open your gift and iron out the wrinkles on your Christmas party dress.  That's supposed to sound wonderful, but it mostly sounds like a sad Christmas moment.  Let's move on.

 Nothing says "special Christmas" like an automatic can opener.  Especially one that is designed to opened cans with blank, blue labels.  Mystery meat, I'd guess.  Love the copy here--"Opens that can of cranberry sauce electrically."  And don't miss the fact that this puppy has a governor-controlled motor.  And the special bonus here is the pre-safety-conscious-society decision to manufacture this without a guard on the cutting device.  As a child, I always imagined what it would be like to catch your finger in that metal-chewing mechanism.  That I still have all ten fingers is a testament to sheer luck.

"Hey mom, here's your gift!  Open it first so you can bake us all a Christmas cake!"  Kids are so cute.  So are husbands who buy portable mixers for their wives and tell her it's from the kids.  Now she's no fool.  In 1962, mom knows perfectly well that dad put the kids up to this so she can mix drinks for him with the free drink mixer attachment.  I'd suggest he not toss in that optional accessory for sharpening knives.  

"From December 26th," this ad reads, "housecleaning will never be easier!"  Yeah, but your wife may never be easy to get along with ever again.  I doubt most wives would even be impressed that this vacuum has a double-action tool.  I might be, if I knew what that meant.  But I'm not gonna ask the GE Christmas Guy hanging from the hose.  Let's see what's left under the tree.

Coffee?  Now we're talking.  I think GE might have a winner here.  Since Keurig machines won't be invented for another forty-plus years, a Peek-A-Brew Coffee Maker is not a bad idea.  Not only will it count the cups, but it will keep the coffee hot.  Now we just have to wait until flavored coffees are offered in the coffee aisle at the local shopping center.  Toffee Pumpkin Skinny Lattes won't be available for quite a while yet!  You'll have to stick with plain cream and sugar.

Thanks to the GE Christmas Guys for their wonderful gift ideas.  For all you newly married young men out there, don't listen to these guys.  Cleaning and cooking supplies aren't your best bet for a young wife's Christmas gift.  Maybe on occasion, if she specifically asks for something.  But I'd avoid buying her anything like knife sharpeners and bags for her head.  I think we can all agree that's just a little common sense.

Here's the full ad that ran in Life Magazine.

For more Christmas ideas from the past, check out last year's posts on Burstein-Applebee.

Burstein-Applebee Part One

Burstein-Applebee Part Two

After-Christmas Shopping with Burstein-Applebee in 1968

Okay, I know what you're thinking.  Christmas is over.  Way over.  Like there isn't even any Christmas turkey left in the house.  The last of the turkey-jello was fed to the cat at least four or five days ago.  What's left of the Christmas fudge was accidentally packed away with the ornaments, which, incidentally, isn't a bad thing.  After all, it helps to have the fudge inaccessible as we try to meet those New Year's resolutions that have more to do with fantasy than reality.  So...why am I posting this about Christmas shopping?

Well, let's look at the facts.  You, along with everyone else, were given gift cards galore.  So many that you were able to stuff your wallet with them.  And now, stacked inside that worn, supple leather, they'll sit for months, forgotten behind the expired library card and the unused Putt-Putt Golf frequent duffer card.  But here's your chance to be really wise about your forgotten gift cards.  Check this out.

First things first: get those cards out and look them over.  Which ones do you want to really use?  If you're a book lover like yours truly, you'll definitely want to set the Barnes & Noble card to one side.  That one will get used.  In fact, I doubt it made it into the wallet.  It was probably used up before Christmas was officially over at midnight.  Online shopping is such instant gratification, isn't it?  But look through your cards and grab the ones that weren't quite...you.  Yeah, you know the ones, given by a distant relative who really had no idea what you do with your life.  Maybe you aren't so keen on Omaha Steaks since you're a vegetarian.  Or you'll never buy a hat from Lids, since you have a perfect head of hair that should never, ever, be covered by a wide-brimmed ball cap with primary colors that came straight off of Blues' Clues.  Heck, maybe you just refuse to use that Amazon gift card because you once bravely announced publicly that you'd never do business with those cut-throats at Amazon because...well, you can't remember why you said it and sort of regret it but you know your friends and family are now watching you to see what you'll do with that Amazon gift card and wondering if you'll stick to your principles or if you'll just go ahead and order the entire set of Star Trek: The Next Generation on Blue-ray.  Anyway...take these cards and sell them to friends at work.  Sure, you'll have to come down a bit on their value, but that's okay.  At least you'll spend money on your own terms, without being forced to buy something from some store you don't like.

Now, here's the genius of my plan.  With all that money you've managed to salvage from the gift cards, you are now free to pick up one of these great specials at Burstein-Applebee.  Just check out these deals:

 Have you ever seen such a versatile tape recorder?  Of course you haven't.  And that's because right there in the Burstein-Applebee catalog, you'll find the most versatile tape recorder yet!  Well, it's the most versatile yet in 1968.  There may be one that is more versatile now, in 2014, but I challenge anyone to tell me they can find one that is more versatile and lower priced at $119.50.  Go ahead, just try and beat this deal.  I mean, seriously, this baby has versatility coming out its reels.  Just consider:
     The 2 track monaural allows for 12 hours of recording time.  Twelve hours!  That's like half a day.  In fact, that is half a day.  Golly.
     This wild ride has three speeds: 7 1/2, 3 3/4, and 1 7/8.  Who could ask for anything better than that?  Who would want to even think of fractions beyond these?  You'd have to be a math teacher to even try and slow that speed down to a number even remotely divisible by 1 7/8.
     That slim attache case is designed at only 3 5/8" thick.  I don't know about you, but I think 3 5/8" is truly the definition of slim.  You couldn't get slimmer than that unless you developed digital technology and created an MP3 player that was only 5/8" thick.  And trust me, in 1968, you wouldn't have been smart enough to develop digital technology.  Fact is, you aren't smart enough to develop it in 2014.
     And let's not overlook the fact that this baby has volume and tone controls that are recessed.  Do I even need to point out how cool that is?  I didn't think so.

Now here's a deal you can't ignore.  Okay, okay, you've seen portable TVs before.  But have you seen one with 82 channels?  You can use this sweetheart anywhere, which is important, since you'd never get to use all 82 channels in 1968.  So you just port this puppy over to 2014 and then you'll be able to appreciate the full range of television programming that can be packed into this beautiful, solid state, deluxe, television and its full 37 square inch viewing area.

For just under one hundred dollars, you'll get a super bright picture for the whole family to see.  Even in broad daylight!  I know, that's crazy, right?  But there's more:  its transistor circuitry has 44 solid-state devices.  It even has a modern, clean look when the set is turned off.  That's right.  It doesn't have that outdated, dirty look when it's off.  And why would it?  This amazing set is produced by the world-famous Matsushito guys.  And they've always been about modern, clean looking televisions that are turned off.  Now just don't forget to order your four-pound battery pack for $29.95.  That's less than eight dollars per battery pound.  When's the last time you saw a steal like that?

Now, don't forget all of the B-A personal mail order service you'll get when you order one of these fine after-Christmas products:
     For starters, you'll have this handy B-A order blank...whenever possible.  Sometimes, it just isn't possible for the order blank to be handy.  We realize that there are limitations to when an order blank can be handy.
     You tell B-A how you want the shipment made.  Express?  Freight?  Regular Parcel Post?  Decaf Parcel Post?  Or how about Air?  That's right, they can float your order to you on the clouds.  And you get to decide when you send the money too.  Use a money order, or a bank draft (whatever that is!) or even...heck, let me quote them.  You'll think I'm making this up, but I'm not.  "Many B-A Customers ask us to fill in the exact amount on their signed blank check...a most convenient and safe way to send remittance."  Uhhh...okay.  Oh yeah, and don't forget that the Federal Reserve Bank Ruling states you cannot send in a check where the bank name has been deleted.  That Federal Reserve is sharp, I tell ya.  Nothing gets past them.  Not even checks without bank names on them.  Someone's thinking down in D.C.
     But before you go and get too excited about these amazing shipping options, let me bring you back to reality a bit.  There is an important little rule to keep in mind.  There is a minimum order size.  I know, right?  Disappointing.  But I have to admit they make a good point.  They state, and again, I quote:
"Since it is not economical to process many small orders, a 50c service charge is necessary for any order under $5.00.  You avoid this charge entirely on orders over $5.00."  Well, they got you there.  You'll have to spend at least five dollars.  Okay, so the B-A shopping experience isn't all fun and games.  As mothers have said since the beginning of time: life is full of disappointments.

And speaking of disappointments, don't even get me started on the $35.00 minimum order for opening a new B-A Revolving Charge Account.

A View from an Abandoned House

Recently I've been digging around an old house that we will soon be remodeling.  It has been interesting to discover many outdated products and brands that I either remember with fondness or have no memory of at all.  The house was built in the early 1960's.  It had been unoccupied for many years, and we decided that not much of the original house was practical to preserve.  This mostly included the wood paneling that covered the entire house.  Yes, that's right, except for the two small bathrooms that were lined with drywall, the rest of the house was covered in wood paneling.

The paneling itself was still in good condition, but it really just had to go.  So off it went.  And as it did, I noticed this little logo stuck inside the paneling on every other piece.  It turns out that the wood came from Gabon, which, in the early 1960's, had just obtained its independence from France.  I realize that the drum motif is African, but I couldn't help but think that this image was making an attempt to snag the attention of home builders who were still wanting to jump on that Tiki bandwagon that had been rolling along.

A little surfing tells me that Gabon is known for its petroleum and timber products.  Port-Gentil, a small town after WWII, grew to 20,000 residents by 1960, and it seems many of them made it their mission to panel as many of the walls of America as possible.  

I found many cigar boxes in the house, most of which were in very bad shape.  However, in a store room cluttered with piles of junk, I dug out this box, which was badly discolored and stained.  Opening it, I discovered that the image inside the top lid was nicely preserved.

El Producto cigars were once a popular cigar, though that was nearly one hundred years ago.  While most cigar fans looked elsewhere for something to smoke, George Burns was well known for his devotion to the brand.  You can read more about his love of El Producto Queens, what he called his little ladies, at cigaraficianado.com.

A Look Back at Life, September 5, 1955

By now readers of Room With No View know that I love all things retro and I get a bit nostalgic from time to time.  You also know I have a stack of old magazines from my wife's uncle and I love to peek through them for advertisements that give us an idea of what was really going on during those years.  The articles are nice, sure, but advertisers have their fingers on the pulse of the readers far better than those writing the articles.

And so we dip yet again into the ad-world of Life magazine for September 5, 1955.  And remember, the things you'll learn here are completely true.  I don't make any of this up.  Honest!

We start with this eye catcher from the inside cover.  I have no idea who Forstmann is, but they make a snazzy business suit for glamorous women on the go!  However, that's not quite true.  The small print tells us that Forstmann is a woolen company.  They make the finest woolens in the world.  And this wool, "oriola" in cornflower blue, is a lovely, soft wool that can be found in stores near you.

You can also purchase this fabric by the yard.  It doesn't tell us which yard you can buy it by.  I suppose it should read "you can buy it by a yard near you."  Which always leads us to the question: how do they know where you are?

Forstmann Woolen Company was founded in Passaic, New Jersey in 1904.  They were in business until the 1990's, when they were eventually bought out by Victor Woolen Products after a financially troubled decade.  Does anyone out there remember this company?

Here's an ad that will make your mouth water.  Who didn't love these tasty metallic treats?  Here you get turkey and gravy, peas, carrots (or is that sweet potatos?) along with a surprise helping of stuffing.  Everything you want in a turkey dinner.  But wait!  There's more!  In this great magazine offer, Swanson is offering to reimburse you for a package of fruit pies.  That's right, go ahead and buy your family fruit pies to top off that dinner with a tasty dessert.  When Swanson sends you 35 cents, you'll be more than reimbursed.  You'll have your money back, your husband and kids will have already enjoyed their flaky, fruity treat, and you'll be happy knowing that you were able to feed them all from metal plates.  That's really cool.  After all, in 1955, everyone knew that the future was heading towards a society that would be based on metal, plastic, and synthetics.

I'm not so impressed that the 35 cents more than covers the cost of the pies.  I'm impressed that it was worth sending 35 cents through the mail back then.  Currently, that is 11 cents less than what one stamp costs today.  Enjoy your pie!

You know I'm gonna try to find a great car ad to show you.  And although there were no car ads in this magazine (what was up with that?) I did find this wonderful Sky Chief layout.  And what a beauty it is!  Here you learn that Sky Chief  gasoline gives your car three types of power.  Count them, go ahead...1,2,3!

Of course the first one is Petrox.  You knew that, right?  I mean, this stuff is awesome.  It actually protects as it powers.  Essentially, since it cannot leave harmful deposits (that's right, it is some sort of law, it can leave no harmful deposits--go ahead, read it right there in the ad) it will make your engine last longer and you'll get more, money-saving miles from every gallon.  Petrox.  You gotta love this stuff.

After pouring 75 million dollars into an octane increasing project, Texaco wants you to know that this gas, which is now the highest octane Sky Chief gasoline ever available, will enable you to "enjoy a brand new power-feel every mile you drive!"  (The exclamation point is theirs, so don't think I am terribly impressed by their expensive project.)

And don't forget number 3:  This gasoline is 100% climate-controlled.  Seriously, I had no idea gas could be air-conditioned.  And the great thing is, that in all 48 states, you are assured top performance from Sky Chief which means...oh yeah, you wouldn't have guessed it...faster getaways!  (Now that exclamation point was added by yours truly, because I'm impressed that Texaco would be marketing their gasoline to bank robbers.  That's just unique, in my humble opinion.)

Now hear is an ad I can really get excited about.  RCA Victor wants us all to see that their 5 new Orthophonic "Victrola" phonographs bring you a new concept in High Fidelity performance.  Incredibly, the price spread here is from $129.95 all the way up to $1600.  That's a pretty big spread.  And really, it starts at a pretty steep price.  I mean, if you can buy a package of pies for 35 cents, shouldn't you be able to buy a stereo for about $60?  Well, I guess that's the price you pay for quality.  And RCA Victor is nothing if it is not quality.  Just consider the following:

The "Mark VI" table model has a 3-speed phonograph.  You get two choices for the finish--Mahogany or Light Oak.  And if you'd rather put your table model on the floor, you could add legs for it.  (An extra charge will be added for the optional legs.)

To add an FM-AM radio console, you'll have to move up two models to the "Mark III", which is gonna bite you for $325.  Ouch.  But then again, you get all that free music on the airwaves, along with great radio dramas, something we don't get anymore, unless you count the news.  I'd tell you all about the "Mark I" twin-console, which includes not just a radio but a tape recorder (I know, you must think I'm making up this magical technology) but why tell you about it?  Even if you could get back to 1955, there is no way you are gonna be able to afford $1600 for a Hi-Fi.  Who did you think you would be, Frank Sinatra?  Be serious.

Oh, here's one that is near and dear to my arteries...uh, I mean heart.  My grandma Alice used to keep Meadow Gold ice cream in her freezer, which was on the bottom of her refrigerator--remember those?  Meadow Gold ice cream was the best ice cream I've ever eaten.  I still believe that.  After all these years.  And it was simply vanilla that she kept there.  Not even this enticing Butter Brickle flavor you see in the ad.  What I don't recall is ever seeing a playful cartoon on the box.  The box always just bore the Meadow Gold standard, which was all we needed to know that yummy goodness was waiting inside the end flap.  (My kids don't know what I mean by "end flap", but you older folks like me know.  Are there any ice creams that still come in square boxes?)

So let's get to the good stuff...the fine print.  First off, we're promised that there is a wonderful candy surprise in the ice cream.  That's the butter brickle, of course.  But then we are given a recipe for making a delicious mocha topping.  What I found interesting here was that the instructions tells us to melt chocolate in our double boiler.  Anybody out there still have a double boiler?  To be honest, I'm not sure what a double boiler is.  Would this be something that is steam-powered?  It sounds terribly dangerous.    

And as an extra, you get a coupon to buy a doll.  That's right, the lovable Little Meadow Gold Girl, who has saucy pigtails.  (That would be mocha saucy pigtails, I'd guess.)  She's lightweight, soft and unbreakable.  I would bet you that if you put her in a double boiler, she would not be as unbreakable.  Sorry, it was just a thought.  Anyway, this great $12 value can be had for $3.50.  Sorry to all my friends outside of the United States, the coupon is only good in our fine country.  

Our extra ad today is one readers of this blog should recognize.  That's right, a second Veedol ad.  I'd been intrigued by Veedol, since I'd never heard of it until I found it in another issue.  I've been assured by my father that Veedol was indeed commonplace back in the day, though he does not remember it being particularly well liked.  For those of you who didn't know, Veedol comes from the Tide Water Associated Oil company.  If I didn't have to rush off to work, I'd tell you all about them.  Maybe another time.

A Look at the Saturday Evening Post, May 11, 1963

  As my wife and I continue to look for a new car, I find there are so many great models out there to choose from.  We're going to slip back a few years (50!) to a Mother's Day Edition of the Saturday Evening Post.  Here we'll be able to see what great products were available for all those mother's out there in 1963-land.

  Right off you can see that the sharp dressed shopper will want this sweet little Corvair Monza.  And the lady of the house will love it so much she'll park out on the empty edge of the parking lot so as not to allow a scratch to mar that brilliant pearl-white finish.

  But wait!  Let's look at the fine print, to see how this car was marketed to women.  

  "While the '63 Corvair appeals greatly to men, it gets along famously with the ladies, too.  They can whisk it into tight parking spots with nary a blush, frisk it through the bustling traffic with the best of them...styled Body by Fisher is in a class by itself, too, certain to turn heads wherever you go.  (And what girl, or man for that matter, won't thoroughly enjoy that!)"

  Not to be outdone, Dodge gets in on the action aiming to draw the eye of the budget conscious ladies who have their hands firmly on the family purse strings.

  Of course, you got to love the angle here:

Public Envy...Number One

  Now, now.  Let's not label that as sexist.  We know darned well that men want cars that make their friends envious as well.  

  And honestly, this is a fine looking car.  Sensible, no excessive styling.  A solid, tight design that I think still looks good today.

  Incredibly, there were 24--that's right, 24--low priced models to choose from Dodge in 1963.  With all those choices, how did they ever choose?  I would think it would not be out of the question to bring your neighbors along and get their opinion on which model they would be most envious of.  This would maximize the envy you generated as you pulled your Dodge out of your narrow, 1960's garage.

  But let's pull that Dodge (or maybe the Corvair, I'm not still not sure which is the best car for my darling wife) back into the garage and step inside our lovely 1963 home.  It is May, and down here in Louisiana, May can be hotter than a Yankee summer.  Sadly, most homes at this time don't have central air.  So is it hot inside?  I mean, if you wanted a cool house, you'd have to have one of those ugly window air conditioners.  And after all the trouble you went to appear stylish in your new car, it wouldn't do to allow the neighbors into your living room if it had a large, square, metal a/c unit hanging in the window.

  But hold on a minute, buddy.  What's that in the window?  A fancy cabinet?  Maybe an enclosed bookcase?  Not a chance!  Have you ever heard of a French Provincial air conditioner?  No, I'm not kidding Gladys!  Behind that fine looking wood-grained set of doors is the most efficient cooling instrument Westinghouse has ever engineered.  From 10 feet...20 feet...even 30 feet away you feel its cooling comfort.  It gently spreads cooled, dried, filtered air to the farthest corner of the largest room.  Yet this powerful instrument is as quiet as a purring kitten.  And it's available in Early American, Contemporary, Traditional, and of course Provincial.  Ain't that swell?

  Now let's see what sort of new-fangled gizmo would excite our air-cooled 1963 mother.  And wouldn't you know it?  General Telephone & Electronics has just the thing: the GT&E "Speakerphone"!  That's right, if you happen to be one of the most beautiful women in all of the ancient world, and your arms have been lost to history, you would still have a chance to jabber away all day long on the telephone with "this marvel of transistor circuitry...powered directly from the telephone line and amplifies your voice as well as that of the caller.  In fact, a number of people can join in.  The "Speakerphone" is another example of how GT&E works to improve communications in all phases of national life."

  Wow.  I can't wait.  I bet soon we'll be able to have the entire family in one room, talking to another entire family in their house miles away, all of us talking at once.  Just think of the party atmosphere your next phone call could have.  The mind boggles...

   This one is for my mother, who was a dedicated Avon saleslady when I was a little tyke.  I can still see that blue-green tapestry bag, with its blue vinyl handle and zippered compartments.  I made many a sales call with my mother in the little town of Herscher, Ill.  I'll bet I knew more about beauty products than most four-year-olds.

  In our Mother's Day magazine, we can see that the advertisers were still thinking of mom.  Obviously, mom wants dad to smell good.  It's to her advantage.  And if you don't think I'm right, consider this.  Avon products weren't sold in stores.  So this is definitely aimed at the women who will be there to open the door when they hear "Avon calling" after the doorbell chimes.

  Here we learn that "Avon Spray for Men makes you feel well-groomed, refreshed all day.  All part of Avon's complete line of good-grooming products for men who are discovering what women (and their four-year-olds!) have known for years:  Avon is quality."

  And just in case someone other than a mother reads this ad--someone of the opposite sex--Avon adds this little encouragement:

Avon for Men is so easy to get!  Just tell your

wife to order one of these Sprays next time

 her Avon Representative calls.

  Hey, that's my mom they're talking about!

  

Today's bonus ad is this wonderful opportunity for boys who want to pick up some well-earned cash and...prizes!

  In fact, if you join the thousands of boys who have taken this opportunity to earn their own spending money, you can eventually earn any of these prizes, which are "but a few of hundreds of useful and valuable prizes that can be yours selling THE SATURDAY EVENING POST right in your own neighborhood."

  That's right, fellas.  Just fill out the coupon: name, address, and age.  And soon, you could be earning your transistor radio, or a camera--comes with its own bulbs, batteries, and a roll of film, or a stretchy Muscle Builder.  And don't forget the official Table Tennis Set.

  Personally, I'd take the football helmet, which comes in plain white.  This awesome apparatus can be used for any number of wonderful play-time activities that have nothing to do with football.  Your imagination is the only limit to all of the amazing things this helmet can be.