My View of Moonraker (No, not that one!)

Moonraker, by Ian Fleming

To continue my study of the Ian Fleming Bond (see my review on Thunderball at Goodreads for an explanation of what I mean) I decided to give Moonraker a read.  It is, quite frankly, the worst movie of the series, and I thought I'd see if the book might turn out to be better.  (I'd had a hint of this from GoodReads friend Tracey (see her excellent review here.)  I was happy to discover it was much, much better.

Keeping with the Fleming characterization of Bond, we still see him as a bit more lucky than skilled.  However, we begin to see flashes of his too-good-to-be-true accomplishments.  (I won't spoil it for you, but the welding torch bit is, well, ahem...tough to swallow.  If I tried that in one of my books I think I'd be embarrassed to let someone read it.  But I digress.)  He seems less petty here than he did in Thunderball.  In keeping with the lengthy golf game in Goldfinger, Fleming shows Bond at another "sport", this time the not so glamorous game of "Bridge".  I know this was a popular game back then, and my parents played it all the time, and I even learned to play it with them for a time, but this does date this book a bit.

I enjoyed the mystery here.  It is one of those stories where you really don't know what is going on for most of the book.  We are as clueless as Bond.  We aren't given any early warning from Fleming as to what Hugo Drax is or what he is up to.  This keeps the book mysterious, but leaves too much of a far-fetched revelation scene (yep, Bond and the girl, tied up, listen to Drax tell his life story and his evil plot all in one sitting).  Drax never really reaches the menacing point as Auric Goldfinger did.  But he does fill the role of evil Bond villain pretty well, with the massive concrete lair, evil doctors, and jumpsuited men running about.

The girl in Moonraker is Gala Brand.  So far, she is one of the best female characters I've ever seen in a Bond movie or book.  She is intelligent, beautiful (of course), an agent (not a victim) and she has her own ideas (it is her idea that 'saves the day' for Bond and all of England), including what man she wants to be with.  Yes, Fleming gets her out of her clothes at some point, but it is in an action scene (not to be confused with a scene in which Bond is getting some action) and Fleming actually points out that there is nothing sensuous about it.  Like Felix Leiter, who is a no-show in this book, I wish Gala Brand could show up again in another Bond outing.

Bond drives a 1933 Bentley 4.5 litre, similar to the Bentley
shown here in Moonraker.

The story takes place in Great Britain, which is supposed to be a no-no for the 00 agents.  But that is dealt with plausibly, I suppose, and I'm glad Fleming chose this location.  For those of us who don't live in Britain, it too, can be an exotic location.  Especially the Britain of the 1950's.  We are treated to a fantastic car chase (Fleming excels here) and Bond and Brand are also forced to deal with some uncommon physical extremes.  And there are no tricks to getting through them.  Just grit your teeth and deal with it.  (And again, Brand holds her own--no shrinking violet is she.)

One little extra I enjoyed was the behind the scenes look at Bond's office.  His secretary, Ms. Ponsonby, is a nice touch, and Fleming gives her some dignity and gallantry in the short scenes she appears in.  Also, during this book, there are only three 00 agents.  (007, 008, and 0011)  M gets a bigger role here than I've seen before, too.

All of it added up to a wonderful Bond adventure, which begs the question: what happened to the collective mind of the Broccoli production when they tried to make this movie?  Christopher Wood wrote the screenplay for it, and frankly, I hope he regrets it.  With this novel as the source material, I can't imagine what he (or the producers) were thinking.  I still believe that Bond fans should get together and plead with United Artists to scrub this movie from our collective memories.  I love James Bond movies, Roger Moore was my favorite Bond growing up, but this movie is just impossible to watch.

Five Good Reasons to buy the James Bond Stinger Missile Unit for Your Car

The James Bond Stinger Missile Unit is available at all fully licensed Missile Warehouse Outlets.

The makers of the JBSMU remind all buyers that any use of the JBSMU must comply with local, State, and Federal laws governing the use of weapons on public roads.  In no cases will we assume responsibility for those individuals who are incarcerated for the illegal use of any product sold by our vendors.

  All moral and ethical questions regarding the use of our products should be directed to your local spiritual advisor and/or parent/guardian.  Should you become a victim of an attack of conscience or should your patience return, refunds will not be allowed.

The James Bond Stinger Missile Unit is completely
undetectable, as seen in the image above.
(Car and driver not included in JDSMU package.)

Purchase your James Bond Stinger Missile Unit and take advantage of these benefits today!

  1.  For those trains that insist on blocking a crossing before coming to a stop.  Who cares if laws passed one hundred and forty years ago gave the railroads the right to block traffic for thirty minutes.  They are no longer the sole mover of goods in the nation.  Get. Out. Of. The. Way.  (The heavy duty Iron-Horse Warhead is an ordnance option and surprisingly wallet-friendly.)

  2.  For the individual that insists on installing those blue lights in place of the traditional yellow headlights.  Night driving is already hard enough on those drivers who do not have the eyes of an eighteen-year-old.  Fortunately, the Blue-Seeker Guidance System is included in the JB Stinger Missile package.

  3.  For Motorcycles that zip between the lanes when everyone else is stuck in place.  (This requires the QuickDraw Mini Round which must be preloaded before entering traffic jam conditions.  An optional motion-detector triggering device is still in the experimental stage.)

  4.  For those brainless individuals who insist on driving all the way to the far end of an empty lane after the other conscientious drivers have merged in anticipation of a lane closing due to construction.  Such line-jumpers require no specialized ordnance, guidance systems or triggering devices since these bone-heads can be seen coming a mile away and there is a clear lane of fire as they pass dozens of cars in their quest to outsmart everyone else on the road.  (We urge restraint, recognizing that while there is usually ample time to fire a second missile for the sheer satisfaction of a double-tap to the trunk, this is unnecessary and a waste of ordnance.)

  5.  For those thoughtless individuals who drive pickup trucks, whose lights are already elevated and shining straight into a driver's eyes because said pickup truck is only six inches from said driver's back bumper.  (This requires the Rear-Fire option only available with the Premier JB Stinger Missile Unit.)

  For the bored yet irritated driver who is tired of driving in one lane, passing miles of orange and white barrels that block a lane for no reason whatsoever, we do not suggest using the JB Stinger, since it would take a prohibitive number of missiles to effectively clear the roadway of the offending plastic barrels.  We do suggest, however, that you check into another great weapon we offer-- the Rainman Repeating Minigun, which pedantically fires three thousand two hundred and sixty-five rounds a minute.  That's three thousand...definitely three thousand two hundred and sixty-five...sixty-five a minute.  The Rainman Repeater has been known to clear five consecutive miles of useless construction barrels before jamming or requiring a reload.

Hurry and order your JBSMU today before the product is pulled from shelves due to the angry protests of a small minority of law-abiding citizens who object to the sales of such practical, logical car accessories!

(The above post in no way endorses violence on the roadway.  Instead, it is intended to remind readers that they are not alone when they think dark, angry thoughts while surrounded by what constitutes the bulk of the driving hive that infests our highways today.)