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USAG
considering hate crime charges against major internet news sites
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 2:19pm by Chick Walderbeekenen Print » Email » Comments (16)
A recent study conducted by a panel of web-surfers with too much time on
their hands has concluded that while the Internet boasts a growing industry of
media outlets and readership, the majority of news stories carry with them
pages and pages of poorly written, unsubstantiated, racially explosive,
expletive-laced (yes, we recognize the expletives no matter that you misspell
them or substitute symbols from the shift-level number keys), and completely
ignorant arguments.
The USAG is paying attention.
While every website has its own rules for moderating these interactive forums, most of the administrators of these pages are not doing their job. It is an impossible mission. It would require a legion of moderators to police the thousands of comments that crop up on websites from CNM.com to THEDAILYLIB.com properly. This logistical nightmare does not, however, relieve the operators of said websites from their culpability in propagating such online vitriol. In no way is their guilt assuaged by the weak disclaimer that is added to each of these forums—this website is not responsible for any comments that might cause offense or lead any person to begin to believe that the majority of fellow commenters are dumber than rocks and worth less than a cup of coffee.
The very fact that websites make such harmful and detrimental writings available to the public, through their own efforts of updating, cataloging, and offering said offensive comments for archival reading may leave them ripe for prosecution. The intervention of the USAG may not only be necessary, it might also just be in the nick of time.
“The trend of the comment pages has begun to alarmingly plummet,” says Web Sociologist Fric Fracenbergerer, of Northwestern Southern State’s Independent Methodological Combine and Noninterventionist Conjecture Branch, “and this trend is only going to get worse as the election season draws nearer. The incivility of the public debate has drawn out what is usually kept hidden by our desire to appear to our friends as someone they would want to invite over for a friendly cup of coffee instead of revealing their true inner selves, which usually is more in line with the nut-jobs that populate our inner nightmares—like, for just an example, when we fear that an escaped inmate from the local insane asylum has passed himself off as a teacher at the local school and is inflicting irreparable damage on our children’s psyches. These little monsters, easily suppressed in polite company, easily break out of their confinement as soon as one sits down in front of a computer screen. Given a keyboard, and a world-wide-audience, these monsters become terribly virulent.”
And it is this virulence that has drawn the watchful eye of the USAG. Since the advent of Hate Laws, which has put a bullseye on our intentions and not just our actions, the way is open for the Government to begin probing the possibility of indicting hundreds of website operators for allowing these rivers of hate to flow free. Full of racial epithets, expletives, and religious attacks, it is quite possible that each one of these dangerous comments, which can lead to violence, hatred, and even hurt feelings, could be listed as an incident of Hate Speech, allowing the Attorney General to compile a list of charges as long as the comment section on an article written about the President’s State of the Union speech.
A decision from the USAG is expected to be announced sometime in the next two years.
Full disclosure ethics leads us to confess that our own website may be culpable in contributing to the vituperative nature of the Internet and our Board of Directors will decide within the week whether or not we will continue to allow comment sections to be appended to our articles.
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Posted on September 12, 2012 at 3:12pm
Yeah, don’t you just hate
teachers?!!! They really do mess up little
minds! Like Plato said, all the teachers
ought to be thrown in the ocean!!
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 4:43pm
You’re kidding right? The &*^ing govurment needs to go after
all those stupid religus haters who keep pushing there Jesus crud on me! Stop saying that fournicators are
sinners. Just cus I was born that way don’t
make me a sinner!!!!
(Yo girlz, you like my
comment? check me at this email!)
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 5:21pm
Bet you a box of donuts the writer
of this trash is a hippie A-Rab trying to bring down the internet!
BobbyLouis
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 5:28pm
@Mediawatcher—are
you smoking crack? Hippies can’t be
Arabs, you brain-dead paranoid.
Mediawatcher
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 5:33pm
Bobbylouis? More like Liberal Media Nazi Cop, trolling
for honest knights like me who are just out here trying to keep the truth truth
and the lies lies. I know who you really
are, Feinbeggler. You’re such a screwup,
you used this BobbyLouis alias in the Obama/Healthcare/Lady Gaga fight last
week! HA! Outed!
Stick that in your commie stew and choke on it, k)&^(^%er!
BobbyLouis
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 5:44pm
What
are you talking about? Have you been
watching too much Hannity? (No
coincidence it rhymes with insanity! And
where’s Combs? Anyone realize they haven’t
found his body? Notice how they never
move Hannitys desk? Too obvious!)
Mediawatcher
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 5:55pm
Here
we go again, folks! Feinbeggler’s still
on this crazy thing about Hannity murdering Colmes. (Not Combs, you Neanderthal!) Alan Colmes is on TV all the time. He’s alive!
Check the facts, you slug-eating monkey-child! There is no date of death for Alan Colmes on
Wikipedia. Duh! It would be there if he was dead!!!!!!
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 5:30pm
I’m glad something is being done
about this. I get so sad when I read the
awful filth that people type in these comments sections. They are so hurtful, so mean to
everybody. The world needs more
love. Not the yucky kind that all those
horrible sickos show in movies and their gross music videos. People like that should be locked up for the
rest of their lives, they are so twisted and disgusting. I can’t stand to see all those vile ‘love
scenes’ which in fact have nothing to do with love. I say lock them up and then fill their cells
with water until they drown. That’s the
only way to end all of that and restore love to the world, which it desperately
needs. I just wish someone would stand
up and say things like this. I sure
couldn’t. That’s what seems so hard to
believe, that so many people want to sit down at their computers and talk to
the world, as if anyone wants to hear what they have to say. I can’t do it, since modesty and discretion
prevent me from posting comments all over the web like all of those morons who
are always writing this kind of thing.
Lovemeyo
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 5:35pm
Yo
Princess—you’re hot, girl. Check me at this email!
Princesscair
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 5:30pm
It
came back as mailer-daemon failed to deliver.
Twice! Did I do something wrong?
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 6:10pm
USAG Considering Wanting a wife
but to get one know can get to no one?
Our best line-on no previous husbands girls from <domain not United
States f:share to> pretty land and want for the wedding cheap with all
documentation at Wyves4theaskin.azer.
Lovemeyo
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 6:17pm
Yo
gotcha, you lieing (*&(&^%%!!
People don’t trust these cockroaches!
They take your money and no girl ever shows up at the airport! Stupid Cops won’t do nothing about it
either!! They are all in cahoots! I can prove it!! Check me at this email!
Yo, Princess, got your
email—finally!! Sorry, I’ll check you
back after I finish this post. These
cheating white slavers will PAY!
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 7:o8pm
As the article says, people are
becoming too uncivil. They do not have
the manners our parents raised us with seventy years ago. We have become a nation of cave-men. I do not really believe that the websites in
question are legally responsible for the hate-crimes that come from such
overblown temper-tantrums as one sees in the comment sections, but perhaps they
should be held accountable in some way.
Ethically, they are certainly at fault for allowing so many people to
speak their minds (but really, they prove every day they are actually
mind-less).
BobbyLouis
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 7:33pm
@Rightbyme—who
are you calling a caveman? I know you’re
talking to me. You won’t call me
brainless and get away with it, you sick,sick, sick OLD man. How dare you call my posts overblown
tempertantrums!!! I am tired of hearing
all of you old farts bragging about the old times, how great you all were. If you were so great how did the world erupt
into all those wars? BOOM! That’s a shot you can’t dodge, you senile can’t-walk-without-a-cane
pedophile!
Posted
on September 12, 2012 at 7:44pm
Mediawatcher
outed you, remember Feinbeggler? All it
took was a little googling to find you.
And guess what? I’m in LA
too! I can’t walk without a cane? Well, let me tell you, you little left-wing
fairy, I can’t walk without a gun either.
And you know what that means? You
better get off the web and get out of your apartment before I get there!
Henryvi
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 7:45pm
@ Agra V8ted. This article wasn’t about teachers. What are you talking about? I happen to be a teacher who does not mess up
little kids’ minds. And another
thing. Plato did not say that! Shakespeare said “let’s kill all the LAWYERS.” You are mixing this quote up with the joke
about lawyers in the ocean. Get an
education!
This comment thread has been locked-down by order
of the LAPD pending investigation of shooting incident off Selpulveda Blvd.
Posted on September 12, 2012 at 7:45pm
Hahaha, this is brilliant. You really should go to work for The Onion. :D
ReplyDeletei hope crime in all around the world disappear.
ReplyDelete