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Saturday, October 6, 2012

31 Things I Have Learned from the Presidential Race So Far

With 31 days left until the election, I offer you the 31 things I've learned from this campaign so far.

1.  How to post messages on FaceBook that exclude those people who want to argue about everything.
2.  While we love to laugh at ourselves, we do not, without exception, laugh at our own political parties, especially if someone else is poking fun at them.
3.  People become experts in the Economy as easily as they become experts in Gymnastics Judging during the Olympics.
4.  Mitt Romney's sons lied to him.  Repeatedly.
5.  If Air Force One crashed into the mountains at high altitude, Barack Obama would be defenseless and not survive the night.
6.  If we repealed the 22nd Constitutional Amendment, Bill Clinton would win this election in a landslide.
7.  This year, in Florida, Democrats are worried about voter fraud.
8.  This year, in Pennsylvania, Democrats are not worried about voter fraud.
9.  Rue the day is a phrase that applies to any day in which you post a political comment on FaceBook and spend the rest of the day arguing with people you have never even heard of.
10.  This year, Republicans hate Obama's National Health Care.
11.  This year, Republicans love Mitt's Massachusetts' State Health Care.
12.  The Democrats should pay Joe Biden to take a two-month vacation any where there are no cameras and microphones.
13.  The Republicans should pay Joe Biden more to keep a microphone and camera on him 24/7.
14.  We should not use NFL replacement Refs and MLB umpires to make sure the election is conducted by the rules.
15.  Democrats would not object to Mitt Romney if he were poor.
16.  Republicans would not object to Barack Obama if he had simply shaken the Saudi King's hand.
17.  Debates mean nothing.
18.  Debates are game-changers.
19.  Debates should only be held at sea-level.
20.  Some of my friends are geniuses.
21.  Some of my friends are crazy.
22.  All of my friends need this election to pass by so they can return to normal life.
23.  No one cares about the congressional races.
24.  The Republicans ran out of old men to throw into the race.
25.  The Mayor of Los Angeles cannot distinguish between a two-thirds majority and a half and half tie.
26.  Clint Eastwood will best be known for his Director's Chair.
27.  Everyone agrees our political system is corrupt.
28.  No one will ever agree to change our political system.
29.  The other candidate is lying, is too vague, too specific, lacks experience, is evil, is greedy, is too slick, is too gaff prone, is too tall, is too snarky, is too inflexible, is too flip-floppy, is too young, is too immoral, is too religious, is too secular, is too American, is not American, is too negative, too positive, too angry, too content...
30.  My good friends understand it when I'm just having a little fun.
31.  My not so good friends don't understand when I'm just having a bit of fun.

2 comments:

  1. You got #16 wrong. The Repubs wouldn't object to Obama if he were white. That's the only real gripe they have with him, even if they won't come out and say it. IMO, anyway. :)

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    1. Yeah, other than his Socialism programs, his National Health Care Program, his higher taxes, it makes sense to just label them as Racists. That's easier. You may have missed the light-hearted point of this, though. IMHO. :)

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